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(April 24th, 2013)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A two week long conversation with God

Looking back I figured that it was a conversation of a capricious son with the Father. In this conversation the Father doesn't let His son to do foolish things for his own good.

Two weeks ago – I have an attractive offer to change the job. The salary is to be tripled comparing to current. One thing, I feel uneasy about it. Notice, acceptance of the offer will put me in a discreditable situation in the future. I accept the offer anyways. Right after I accept the offer – my heart starts to convict me. I begin to pray, diligently telling God how I need the money, listing all the good works I can do with them. I tell Him that I need to pay for my tuition, and that this salary is most welcome.
Beginning of last week – my heart continues to convict me. I continue to pray, simultaneously looking for at least one layout at which I would "land on my feet". Sincerely, I was looking for an excuse. Monday, last week – 6 rubles in my pocket, approximately 30 cents. I have places where I can borrow some, I just don't want to. I walk home from the office, around 3 miles. Another week to go to advance payment. I trust God, I know He has not forgotten me. No excuse found yet.
Monday night – phone rings at 2 a.m. My brother calls and asks if I would like to make some money. I agree without even understanding what's going on (very surprising). One American lady had food poisoning and is urgently placed to an infection hospital. Translation for doctors required. Money for taxi is found very quickly, landlady hasn't been taking the rent money for over a week now, so borrow some until morning. This very day nobody is at the hotel who could translate, everyone is busy. Well this is another story. Overnight I get paid amount of money equal to monthly salary. Wednesday – I am invited to the hotel to be introduced to two Americans. They were told how I came to the hospital at the middle of the night, and that I had two different socks on because I was tired when I was dressing up. One of them is the president of a foundation. He gives me an amount of money equal to half of my monthly salary.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday – I'm like a baby rejoicing that God is blessing me, I continue to pray and look for an excuse. No excuse yet.
Sunday – I have a great desire to visit Zelenograd Baptist Church. I visit this church quite seldom. This time we are discussing how we try to make excuses of our disobedience, excuses for things we want to do, not God. Many examples from the Bible of bad consequences after excusing the disobedience. Such as Adam and Eve, Saul and David, Jonah, apostle Peter. Second part of the service tells how God shuts the doors when we want to do something that contradicts His will and that at these times we better listen to what God has to say. At this moment I run though the latest events and understand. God, for my own good, doesn't want me to changes the job. He replies to my prayers very plain and clear, - "Son, here is the money, if you need more for tuition I will give you more, just don't go there, no need to be making excuses, trust Me."
On the way home – I feel that my heart is not convicting me anymore. I think of how I talk to the bosses. What will I say when I refuse the offer and what I will say to the boss, who was actually looking for my replacement. And as a closing, two passages from the Scriptures. (1Jn.3:20) "For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things."And (Je.29:11) "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD,thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
(story written by Refat)

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